Please be mindful of possible triggers as the story contain description of physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
Angela Tucker is an active member of the Junior League of Collin County, in her second year serving in the Family Violence Committee, and this is her story…
I celebrated my 3-year “Housiversary” of purchasing my very own brand-new home by myself a couple of days ago. Something that I would have considered a pipe dream a few years before that. You see, I did not choose the easiest path in life EVER and I have overcome MANY obstacles to get where I am today.
My parents split up when I was a teen. I was left by myself in the house, started partying all the time and ended up getting into A LOT of trouble. It all caught up with me after I became pregnant with Summer. I had her when I was 19. God sent me an angel on earth, and I honestly think that was the only thing that would have changed me at that time. I broke up with her dad while I was pregnant because I knew he was not going to change, and I would be raising her on my own.
Due to my past and not so squeaky-clean background I worked at Sonic until someone from my church took a chance on me and hired me. Jeff Card, I am forever grateful for that opportunity! I had only worked there a year when I met this guy that swept me off my feet and offered me the world. He was older and well established. He wanted to take care of Summer and I and did not want me to work. He convinced me to quit my job. What I did not know at 22 was to look for red flags, because, man they were there! That fairytale turned into a 7-year nightmare before I finally escaped alive. Seriously, my friends thought he might kill me one day. I had left him several times in those 7 years before it stuck.
What people do not understand about abusive relationships is the mind warp you go through. The abuse builds up slowly over time. It starts small, then it becomes your new normal and then something else gets added on, until one day you wake up wondering how you got there.
A friend from church, Jill, introduced me to a non-profit program in McKinney called Stronger Women. They offer a class to help women heal from domestic violence and other forms of abuse. Stronger women planted the seed and helped me to understand the cycle of abuse and allowed me to not feel alone. From there I was introduced to another organization called Shiloh Place. This changed the trajectory of our lives forever. Shiloh Place is a Christian based program that provides single moms with an apartment, pays for some sort of education for them, childcare, holds you accountable, teaches you about budgeting and finance, etc. Most of all they believed
in me when I did not even believe in myself. I had been so beaten down from that relationship and my past that I did not see that I could provide for us and make something of my life. We lived there in 2015/2016 & they paid for me to get my real estate license. I was finally awarded my license after many letters of recommendation and character reference (thank you all for those who wrote them) at the very end of December 2016.
I would like to say I was an instant success in real estate but that first year was ROUGH! I only sold 1 house and did a handful of leases. I knew this was the career God had called me to, so I preserved. Unfortunately, I did end up getting back with the guy after leaving Shiloh. I thought it might be different once I started making my own money. It was not until I was about to turn 30 that I decided to break it off for good. I had given him 7 years of my 20’s and wasn’t giving him anymore. It was awful. He tried to sabotage my life in every way possible. He drug my name through the mud with work affiliates, attempted to get me fired from my broker, get my real estate license taken, hired someone to put sugar in my gas tank, tried to get me in trouble with the police for using his credit card (which he had allowed me to use always), etc. But every single way that he tried to ruin me did not work. God protected Summer and I. When I was with him, I would pray & I always heard God’s voice telling me “If you let go of him, I’ll bless you with more than you can imagine.” I finally left him for good almost 5 years ago and God was so true to his promise. My business really took off when I was obedient to him and finally let go of that toxic relationship.
Just 2 years later I bought this home & my very first brand new car (in my name & on my own), we have been able to go on many vacations and have had the best experiences in life and are genuinely happy. I have been a top producer in real estate for the last 3 years.
We have healed from past trauma and now I’m in the healthiest and happiest relationship that I’ve ever had. I am proud of all of that and so incredibly thankful, but I am most proud of showing Summer how to become an independent woman. Although I hate that she witnessed such a toxic relationship, I showed her that it is not acceptable and how to overcome anything. I talk to her about everything and make sure she knows about red flags and to always have her independence.
Less than 5 years ago, we lived with my dad in this house at the bottom right. It doesn’t look as bad in that picture as it is in real life. It was hit by a hailstorm and my dad did not have insurance on the house so the roof, siding, and some of the windows never got fixed. The septic system is old and never worked properly when we lived there. It is not nice inside at all. Summer and I shared a room for many years at this house. My dad had a severe stroke when Summer was a year old, so my brother and I took on the role of being his caretakers. He was mostly self-sufficient, but Gabe provided for him financially until I could much later, and the roles were reversed for us as father/daughter when I was only 21. He passed away in October of last year due to cirrhosis of the liver. He was an alcoholic. He was a loving dad to me and the person that had always been there for me no matter what in life. I miss him every day. We are now renovating his house and turning it into a short-term rental. Talk about full circle!
I know this is a super LONG post, but I guess the point I want to get across is do not ever give up! I would not be where I am without the people and organizations that God put in my path and I am forever grateful for each and every one of them. I want people to have hope through my story !!!